#honestly i cant remember why i did this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Garfield?
1 note
·
View note
Text
The original in the bottom
Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny
#thats not my neighbor#milk man#just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates#monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school#(online school)#my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT#also little welcome home update#im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me#also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭)#the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit#only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭#also! im making easter art#yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!!#why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing#it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful!#im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to#high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not)#maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me...#also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh#ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me#imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope)#even if its little dumb posts#by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES”#just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded#hehe didded
279 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ever think about Date’s view on family and how that relates to his character? When Mizuki asks him to define family, he just awkwardly offers that its like being blood related to someone. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and Mizukis, but like, he literally had no idea what a real family looks like. He’s an orphan, a man who grew up with no family and no name, but he doesn’t know that yet. He has no memory of his past, no way of knowing if there’s someone out there waiting for him to come home, if he even had a place to call home. His only frame of reference for a family is Mizuki and her parents. Deep down he knows it’s not right, not loving, but it fits the mold of a nuclear family, man and woman, blood related, so that must be what family is. When he’s asked to take in Mizuki, he’s absolutely clueless because he literally has zero frame of reference for how a child is supposed to be cared for. He puts distance between them because this isn’t his place, he doesn’t have the right to love this child as his own because he isn’t the real dad. There’s no place for someone like him in a family. And it’s baffling to him to hear that Mizuki not only loves him, she needs him because he is her family. Date believes he’s a nobody, just a sad, lonely man with no name who absolutely does not deserve this kind of love. But he has it anyway because he chooses it, he makes something that neither he nor Mizuki have ever had before. HES HOME
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#kaname date#mizuki date#just crying about the date family for the millionth time nothing new#also i just had this realization that like date literally had absolutely ZERO clue what he was doing#cuz its not like he remembers his own childhood so he cant use that as a frame of reference for how to treat his own child#and yet despite this he does a much better job than renju and shoko ever did just because he like. actually loves mizuki lol#honestly kinda fucking insane that date was asked to take care of her instead of hitomi#like renju has a choice between his long term friend who hes really close with and who he knows has lots of experience in childcare#versus his silly friend who lives in the smallest apartment with tons of debt and has literally never seen a baby before#then again thats probably why he didnt choose hitomi cuz he probably wanted to keep mizuki separate from the family he actually cares about#also for meme purposes its just like date is like wow renju youre literally the worst dad ever#and renju is like well okay hotshot if you think its so easy then how about you raise my daughter asshole#and date is like okie and does a significantly better job at it#i love kaname date so fucking much you guys will never understand what we have 😩
171 notes
·
View notes
Text
in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.
#i need better coping mechanisms but it’s so easy to just turn to substances when you’ve never learned how to cope w your emotions#and physical pain. however a lot of it has been brought on by the substance abuse aka i did it to myself#so i probably deserve it#but i started with them in the first place to get rid of pain that was so overwhelming and constant#it feels like every time i do something to preserve myself im punished for it#and im so sick of it. i cant believe its gotten this bad#i drink to help the pain -> i get hungover and the pain is way worse -> i drink to stop that pain#and the worst part is it always works#realistically ive depended on substances for like a decade#i started drinking at 13 and fell into a rut of alcoholism at like 15/16#my mom was going thru a phase of alcoholism and roped me into it so bad if be woken up by her bringing me a drink at 9 am#and we’d drink till she passed out and i had to walk her to bed and cook for everyone and do all the chores#it went on for months one summer#then it was weed and i smoked every day from like 18-22#only thing thwt stopped me from drinking until i started again after both my parents died#i havent recovered since.#im still so traumatized and depressed that i looked for any method of relief#the dph phase was the worst. i think alc is even better than that lmfao it was horrible#once i got access to alc i stopped all that. wouldnt have if i hadnt had alc tho#it’s honestly been one addiction after the other for a decade#and my parents fueled so much of it#‘oh id rarher you drink under my eye than do it behind my back’#BRUH YOU WOULDNT LET ME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING. HOW WOULD THWT HAVE HAPPENED#crazy how i was obsessed w drugs and shit by the time i was 10 and i remember thinking wow im gojna grow up to be an addict.#why am i so irreparably fucked up#idk whatever. like im not gonna drink abt it lmao.
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
i sense how on the contrary, when moon is in Zeph’s local group the members will all go ‘omg youre actually letting us do this’ or be surprised of her leniency with almost anything(or if she gets upset she wont be yelling her ass off and will try to remain calm), because of how Zeph would usually be so strict with em and they didnt expect better
see- first you gotta understand that the chancla doesn't really Hurt the iterators. while they definitely can feel through their puppets, those things are made to be sturdy (throw a normal or singularity bomb into Pebs' chamber,he's fine, i know he just doesn't have health but worldbuilding is worldbuilding so i guess a fully functional iterator is fine with blackhole into the head). it maybe stings for a sec but it's not worse than gettin pinched (also where did you get that she yells at em, she's only exclaimed so far i think. if you check how she handled Innocence, that's how she generally goes about it- no yellin for the sake of puttin 'em in place, she's just venting out her frustrations into the air)
the Point of the chancla is to get the target's unwavering attention so she can talk some sense into them WITHOUT using the senior privilege which is far more invading since it cuts straight through their systems and forces the juniors to stop everything to pay attention. these things are giant supercomputers! they are going to have a different perspective on what counts as "too much"/"too bad" than us humans! it isn't used to limit what they are doing unless the thing they are gon do is explicitly threatening to their safety, the limiting is what the Senior Privilege does!
in that lil comic with Pebs, Suns, Nish, Inn and her, she doesn't actually even hit Nish in the last panel, the chancla is only supposed to suddenly appear from behind next to his face n he gets startled + drama queen points. i've admitted in the tags of it that i gave up on the last page so i don't blame anyone for not gettin that since i haven't put enough effort into communicating it
with what she's doin back in her own group, she Needs to be this strict if she wants her plan of keeping everyone reliably long-term safe to work
and her groupmates would undeniably miss her. they love her! they don't want some lenient stranger without constant spice to her instead of their ramshackle beloved Azzie!!!!
#Spot says stuff#rw#oc tag#remember!!!!! important point to her character that also bothered me at some point with how similar it makes her to Moon was that shes Kind#Zeph is kind almost as much as Moon but their situations- concerning all their past present and future- are strikingly different and so#their lives require them to have different approach to things. what Zeph is specifically doin different from Moon is that shes Firmer#strictness isnt wrong!!! if you arent strict on either yourself or the people around you then it is easy to breach boundaries n do-#-Terrible things. its. honestly why i got real sad when a peep asked me to tag that one post as abuse. its not that believe me Zeph would-#-Never abuse another iterator. shes specifically trying to get around that while still keepin them sensible. but ofc ill tag it as such 4 u#look where Moon's leniency got her! dead and hurt and everyone who loved her suffering! there are times when you Need to be firm and cut-#-a bad situation at its bud before it can spiral into something absolutely damning#i didnt include it cuz it isnt Funney™ but after each chancla she talks to the target about why what they did was wrong#Suns you cant send that. it can hurt him very badly. Innocence you need to respect other people. Pebbles this will Hurt me if u keep doing-#-what you are doing right now. it could *kill* me. why are you doing this in the first place? do you need to talk? need me to listen?#being strict and being cruel or dictatorial are different things
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
sooo glad we live in the universe where twdgs4 was rewritten to be about saving the school instead of the original lis2-esque on the road each-episode-is-a-new-location plot. really dodged a bullet there
dont know if it was due to the cuts and collapsing work environment (no budget for all the assets needed) or what but the school plot is just like the perfect setting for her to end her story. and we really almost got a plot about her.... just trying to make it back to her original house? oof
#my biggest problem with lis2 is that being on the road made a lot of your choices essentially meaningless#like wheres the threat of consequence when you know youll be gone by the next episode anyway?#the kids were originally gonna kick them out permanently.......Nightmare Scenario#the plot of her trying to get back 'home' is so silly honestly like its Just nostalgia/fan bait. convince me otherwise you cant#it makes no sense....she lived right outside a major city... that place is Not safe anymore#it wasnt even safe when she left it 8 years ago girl why would you go back#her finding a place to MAKE a new home and having to fight for it? with a community of her peers who love and respect her? so much better#shes a community leader now :) of a bunch of kids living secretly in the woods just trying to make a safe home for themselves#in a hostile world that wants them dead#love that for her#shes been managing adults since she was 11 and even before that tried to be a voice of reason. at 8 years old. community leader makes sense#s4 is just so narratively sound to me for clems character that i cant believe there was ever any other direction they wanted to go in#every time im thinking about how good s4 is i remember what it almost was......... and i am so grateful we got what we did#not only do we live in the universe where s4 is about the school but we Also live in the universe where s4 was un-cancelled :) yay#shit makes me so happy man. i remember clem is living happily at ericsons and my day is Immediately improved#these little fictional bitches in my head giving me free serotonin on command#it speaks#twdg
55 notes
·
View notes
Note
How many Kierans have you seen on this god—I mean Arceus forsaken app? I need to know. And if possible, send me their links.
Also, for the whole ‘Pecharunt’ thing, it’s a mythical pokemon but you won’t find anything about it. There’s no historical evidence, not even myths, legends or even rumors of it existing. It’s a sneaky b’str’d, but it’s also the leader of the Lousy 3 (punt them to oblivion). And it even appears to break the ‘Pokémon aren’t even evil but loyal to evil trainers’ formula as I think it’s malicious, evil, ruthless and wants to do nothing but destroy. We don’t know why. We know nothing about it. But when it awakens,
GET AWAY FROM IT (or beat the living crap out of it, if you dare)
And don’t eat any purple coloured mochi, it was it that made them
ah— well to be honest i have no idea how many there are personally. in total. and i genuinely dont want to find out but.... if you really want to know the other three i think its uhm.
er... gimme a minute. @/ghost-kid-kieran @/ogerpons-favorite and @/adventureswithdipplin
oh there isnt any books about it....? huhm. thats weird... i remember seeing a deep purple book in the library the cover of it looked really old and had an image of some sort of peach thing opened? the pages felt a little brittle too.
i did try reading it just a bit but when i left to go get something i came back and it was gone? somebody probably grabbed it from my table. i dont know. i did try asking the librarian about it but there wasnt any information or anything of it at all.
but thank you for letting me know.. but why would i eat a random mochi? and is it that powerful? huh.
#rotomblr#pkmn irl#thanks for the ask!#trainer kieran#pokemon fanart#why did you want to know the other kierans? i am the least helpful person to direct you to them.#let alone conversing with them. heck even meeting them was just nerve wracking. well except the ogerpon one.#about encountering the book its been some time honestly.#i cant really remember what was written in there so your guess is good as mine.#//ooc: I'm not gonna tag sorry but he doesn't know how to tag either so. </3
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Quickly sketched out something based on what made me feel really sad and cry todsy and only rly looking st it i realise wow that was such a random and benign way to make me jump to think of something so Big and all
#honestly its undescrivable#it looks so. silly. on paper. unconnected#like why would anyone jump to that thought#but it happened. i remember the feeling snd the thoughts. it was rral and made sense. it still does to me#i cant really show it on paper#i did rush it but also just. its just not gonna work#anyway im not posting it anyway. self indulgent n silly
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i think im so unreasonable & perhaps too drama prone then something happens & it really puts into perspective that im pretty normal in that regard all things considered
#i talk a lot of shit but when it comes down to situations im relatively level headed... known fact that surprises people#wveryone just loves to get heated & really mean real fast i think we zhould all log off for a little while#that stuff is so exhausting. WHY DID MY MUSIC STOP PLAYING I JSUT REALISED#?!!!!!! WHO ASKED YOU#ahh but... but but... i suppose i have mellowed out after all. thats good. 2019 me wasnt doing us any favours#i remember when i was a ball of anger & so weirdly conflictual. such an odd thing to think about#introspection time. i suppose bpd splitting cant fully let me be Normal#but for a bpd splitter whose stated boundaries get disrespected frequently honestly it could be way worse#idk. sleepy. meow meow. whoaa. i wonder if my mother still thinks i hate men. that was a really funny statement of hers
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
someone PLEASE explain to me why i have to study thomas aquinas when his theories are literally the EXACT same as aristotle's but with the element of god and christianity. what is the fucking point. essence and potencial is basically the same as potentiality and actuality, but explained in a way that somehow fits god in it, who is both of these things. the four causes (material, formal, efficient, final) but yk, with an extra one (perfection) just to explain that god is the only actual perfect being. natural law? oh yeah ethics should be applied to be happy, which can only be achieved by finding god. so we must follow the same virtues aristotle proposes us, qith the only objective to get to heaven and find god (and of course we need to use reason to get there - plato, anyone?? using reason to get to the ideal world?). the virtues are basically the same: ethical ones and dianoethical ones, and obviously the addition of theological virtues, the ones related to christianity (faith, etc)
#this actually helped me study tbh#i honestly have no idea why we study this man#like yeah lots of philosophers have similar theories but like#they always add this new thing that is revolutionary yk#but w this guy its just like#aristotle but christian#my friend and i joked about when doing the exam we'd just write god in really big letters and the teacher should technically pass us#we never did it tho#yk why#that friend actually graduated with honours i believe#i cant remember id it was confirmed#but anyways#the middle ages were wild man#also enjoy the meme i made for this post specifically#thomas aquinas#philosophy#aristotle
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.
I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).
[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]
My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.
The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)
Anyway, shrimp tax:
I lov thees widdle oange bebies.
Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.
#me earlier today: oh i should bleach my hair since i havent been able to shower for 2 days it wont damage it as much#me now: i dont know if i can even stand long enough to shower after this#anyway im gonna try to eat something and then shower and pass tf out.#maybe i shouldve taken a before picture to show how much i did...#...but i do Not want to remember 'that one time i didnt do a water change for 2 months' the algae was gross lol i couldnt even get it all#but honestly idc ab the back wall having algae as long as the front and most of the sides are clear#seriously the algae was textured like sandpaper tho. does algae do pearling? if it does then its calcium buildup too#edit while typing bc i looked it up. yes algae pearls. so the bubbles it was making were drying enough to cause calcium deposits#oH also lmao i found the tiniest pinch of hornwort left in the 10gal. idk why the hornwort doesnt like that tank but its hilarious that...#...that one little fingernail sized piece is still alive floating in there. i stuck it next to the lily but the shrimp will prob dislodge it#the hornwort in the 5gal is just freefloating i cant get that shit to stick#the shrimp love that stuff and they look like little birds in a pine tree#im in so much pain im procrastinating food lmao 'order pizza' crossed my mind but my jaw wont let me eat pizza so fml#anyway. just wanted to show an accomplishment even if its not a praise worthy one since i didnt go the extra 10 miles to water change sooner#awwww tho i love seeing them glide around the tank and now i can see them clearly its so chill#shrimp#aquariums#crustaceans#bugs#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#also my therapist started cracking up this morning when i said like 'i can finally rest now tht i dont have a Saw trap bathroom to navigate'#seriously tho it was bad and then another issue in the bathroom came up 2 days ago but theyre both fixed now. my br is normal now.#im not normal tho (normal for myself i mean) and unfortunately thats not gonna be an easy fix but im trying#man can i ever make a post where i dont type a million words lmao. inability to focus and then i start typing more stuff#oh ab the hair bleach man my roots are so dark i just trimmed off the last of the bleach from last time so i got 2tone hair rn#idk when ill get to that. dependsnon my back. i already wasnt in a great state of being when i did the aquariums but i needed to clean them#ok i rly need to try n make food and shower before i start growing algae on myself
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
why are comics so convoluted
#ooc#gamora's people were originally killed by the universal church of truth#but in another universe#and thanos took her to the 616 universe#the church still would've killed her people in 616 i think?#but adam and thanos and gam defeated magus and erased him from 616 in strange tales#her people still had to die tho#so it was the badoon who did it#since gam was there at the point when magus was erased tho#and that 616 isnt even her home universe!#she would remember the church#*shakes comics*#starlin i love your writing but i would like to have Words#honestly i am a big fan of just Doing What I Want for the most coherent plotline#because comics cant keep backstories straight#gam's had like....3-4 retcons?#so why should I be forced to follow just the latest or more 'popular' stories
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel really bad cause my spouse got me an iPad for my birthday a few years ago and I never use it...
He got it for me because I had been lamenting that I wished I had a drawing tablet with a screen instead of the second hand wacom that I use.
But when I unwrapped it I was shocked and surprised and worried immediately. I thought "why did you get me such an expensive gift..." and he said his dad helped pay for it. And then he told me why he got it and I was like oh okay that's nice I guess... but I never wanted an iPad. I wanted a drawing tablet. I was immediately concerned that I wouldn't like it. And I didn't want to sound ungrateful but I expressed that concern cause I was worried it was a mistake to get me such a gift and maybe he could return it... but I ended up keeping it and he got me an apple pencil to go with it and I bought and downloaded procreate to give it a chance.
I hate using procreate. It's a good program but I liked the program I was already using. I like drawing on my computer. Also the process of getting images out of procreate and onto my PC is stupid and cumbersome, and I dont like interfacing with websites from the iPad, I like using my PC. I just wanted a tablet that I could use with my computer that also had a screen. I don't even like Apple products, I never wanted to own one.
If I go on a trip and I want to draw I usually just end up bringing a sketchbook because I like that better than drawing on the iPad.
I gave it a shot for a while but I haven't touched the thing in like 6 months, and I feel bad that he spent so much money on it and I never use it :/
But I also can't complain about it cause it will make him feel bad but like idk, I wish he had just asked me what kind of tablet I wanted or something I mean I didn't even know what I wanted I had no serious plans to upgrade my tablet anytime soon, I still don't even know what I would want if I did. I have a $1000+ piece of fucking technology that I hate and I would rather use the thing that I paid $35 for.
#also honestly i forget sometimes that my monitors are touch screen#ive not even tried just getting a touch pen and using my monitors i dont think...#i cant remember but i think i even had the touchscreen monitors already when he got me the ipad#like idkkk i know i sound ungrateful cause it was expensive but like i immediatly was like why tf did you get me an ipad i dont want this..#but telling him to return it would have hurt his feelings so much...#its a fucking huge one too its like the biggest size they have#why did he do that#why did he think i wanted that#ughh im fucking awful why am i mad at him for getting me something nice what is wrong with me 😑#idk i think on some level it just shows like.. a lack of judgement on his part#like you didnt even consult with me before spending a bunch of money esp when we live together and share expenses#like he had to get his dad to help pay for it he could have spent that money on something way more practical#i dunno man i know i should appreciae anything that anyone wants to give me but..#its always kinda pissed me off when someone gives me something i dont want like it makes me feel like#they dont even know me and dont care what i actually want or like idk idk maybe thats selfish#he was just trying to make my life easier and get me something i had talked about wanting#but with big purchases like that i feel like you cant just fucking pick something you need to know what the person actually wants
1 note
·
View note
Text
these past few days i have been uncharacteristically. emotionally open. w my friend and it has me thinking about how truly for all of my life i just did not expect anything from anyone
#like since i was a kid i just accepted in my head that all the ''friends'' id have were ppl who either were just putting up w me (probably#bc they had no one else and i was like. what was available) or ppl who cared ab me yeah but i was still their second or third choice#and i was just like. yeah ok. i can survive w that. like consciously i made the choice to hang out w people i knew didnt really like me#bc it was better than not having anyone to talk to#did it hurt any less when those ppl eventually stopped talking to me or i learned theyve been talking about how annoying i am to others?#no it didnt. bc i still cared about Them and had Them as my first choice. but i just thought. thats just how it is. im jist not really#likeable. so ill take what i can get#when i was like 7 or 8. i had one friend at school. and she had like some issues at home or smth idk but sometimes she would just start.#treating me badly or just ignoring me for months at a time. and its not like it deeply traumatized me or anything i honestly didmt remember#this fact until like last year but the thing is that i just. accepted it. i was just like yeah ok for half of the year or so my only friend#will act like she hates me and ill have no one to talk to. thats fine. ill just wait until next year when she likes me again. at age 7. and#now im just like what the fuck man why did i just accept that as my life. through all my childhood and then with other friends in my teen#years why did i never not once try to do better for myself. yknow?#when i was 11 and in another school my best friend suddenly started not talking to me. after a month or so of this i decided to invite her#to my house to play like we had done so several times before and she just looked at me like she was confused i was talking to her at all#and said ''why?''. and i was just like. ok. thats that i guess. genuinely why did i just accept these things#and like yeah i have friends that i feel Get me now and one i love just so much and i can tell loves me back but theyre online. i dont talk#to anyone irl. i dont know how. and im happy im so happy but im also scared that im just doomed to be extremely lonely forever irl#because i am legit just not likeable. not to be a weird a weirdo but yeah im just too different from ur average person my age i cant#connect with them in any way. and i also dont know how to talk to people or make friends or to find people that are like me. ill just#not have anyone forever#i guess#especially bc now i dont hate myself enough to hang out with people i dont like so like. i dont even have that as an option skdbskdjks#Every friend i ever made happened bc the other person reached out to me first and insisted on it. all the friendships that stuck were the#gay autistic/adhd weirdonerds who can relate to my hyperfixations and dont expect me to act Normal™. idk how to find the former group irl#and have never once iniciated a friendship. my fate is to be someone who has online friends only and exclusively#and dont even get me STARTED on the topic of having a girlfriend someday-#anyways. certified magnus archives moment
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not people being bitchy and saying you don't like a book unless you can quote it
But they won't even tell you if they read it
#i really cant with how some guys are unable to talk about interests#like why are you so fucking pressed about if i truly fucking like something#and ofcourse the test of me liking it is if i enjoyed it the way you did#like fuck you dude if im gonna have a pop quiz about book excerpts and character names#and not the gushing/venting discussing the story and its characters#and this comes from a person who adores quotes#i just usually dont remember any#thats why i fucking write them down#and even if i didnt#i dunno#honestly if someone said they just read the book i like#i would be excited like just tell me anything about it#and oh also if anyone is reading this far#send me gushes about the book you read or are reading#or vents or just thoughts#it can be anon too and if its heavy spoiler just put it in but honestly#if youre gonna talk about it i dont mind spoiling myself
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
did i mention i bought 2 new plant babies
#logbook#cant remember anything over the last few days. . .its been wild. .#i stopped by my lil shop yesterday AND friday after work lol. yesterday was mainly to see the lil dog i havent seen since dec.#also bought a new button up :-) lol its floral and im going to wash it today so i might wear it monday eee#had a good day at work fri. was busy and did a lot. had an awkward convo towards the end but i think it worked out.#i was already going to bring that coworker some tea tmrw anyways so it works out too#ive started reading 2 new books. and im going thru all my books games clothes misc etc to get rid of more things.#being 25 and going 'actually yeah ive outgrown that' or 'i never wanted this to begin with but i had to keep it til i had smth to#replace it' or 'why am i still hanging onto you? begone!' is so refreshing and honestly a weight off my shoulders lol#i cant wait to be able to express me some more. . .sigh.
2 notes
·
View notes